Untitled

I'm the one without a soul
I'm the one with this big fucking hole
No new tale to tell
Twenty-six years on my way to hell
Gotta listen to your big time, hard line, bad luck
Fist fuck
Don't think you're having all the fun
You know me I hate everyone

"And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence”

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.

I’ve never experienced being that someone that would embarrass a person.
It’s hard for me to grasp and move through it because I wouldn’t do that to someone. I guess there’s more shit lined up for me to feel. I don’t think I’m strong enough to take it. I stopped feeling things so I wouldn’t get hurt and now that’s all I have is a future of pain.

I built a place
Where honesty and us could be safe
And it was good

Notes:

I’m just like them
Only wanting to get mine
And to put the blame on you
-
Respecting myself so I can respect you
-
In the past you haven’t taken me serious when I try to build you or try to exit.

I need to hear how you loved me.
Even if it’s nothing I just need honesty. And at least that nothing would be different than what I’ve always had.

I guess I also need to hear how much you didn’t care.

I’ve been missing you since April. I’ve been sad that I lost a friend.
sorry I was always bringing things up to talk about. But I mean now you know why.

I embraced what I wanted or needed. When we talked about it while that girl in red was running around looking for someone. You were against expectations. But I mean just recently I so thought we were solid. I’ve never gotten a goodbye and a while back I was like I want a goodbye and for it to be good. You see how it’s my fault. I never thought things would get this bad.
I didn’t think you’d close yourself off that much and make things rough that I had to leave. I barely have any pride ego or self worth and I’ve been a beggar at your feet for so long. Just for scraps. I never was a priority or appreciated. But now things have gotten so bad for the both of us that’s there’s nothing there for me now. Last year there was some. But now why I don’t see that smile anymore is because it’s all gone the change stole it. You gave it all to others and there’s no kindness in your eyes. No honesty no love. So you made me leave.

I needed you to care me protect me
You know what you’re leaving me out here to face.
Alone.
You know I’m just gonna get fucked over

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,